Friday, October 28, 2011

Kids and Their Friends

Warrior is a very popular kid.  Where every he goes he can make friends, adults and kids, fast.  He's also one of those kids that's friends with everyone.  He's able to see past the exterior and see the person on the inside.

I love this about him and it makes me proud to be his mom.

But we've been having some problems with a friend of his.  What makes it even worse is that this friend is the son of my husband's boss.  These are also the same people that are going to watch our kids for us when my husband has his transplant.

Their son, lets call him Fred, and Warrior had been friends for about a year before we moved up here.  After we moved up here they had a lot of play dates and sleep overs.  Then Warrior started hanging out with his new friends.  At first Fred didn't have any issues.But sometime over the last 3 years Warrior started to grow up.  He's almost 13, but is very mature, well at times, for his age.  His friend hasn't really grown up.  He's still very immature and throws tantrums if things don't go his way.

We've witnessed a lot of these tantrums lately because he doesn't "approve" of some of Warrior's friends.

We have a rule in our house that all plans for play dates or sleep overs have to be made a week before.  This makes it easier on me, especially trying to fit in pick up or drop off times.  A few weekends ago we, as a family, took a Donate Life training course.  That same weekend Fred and his family were going out of town and asked if Warrior could go along.  We explained to them that we had signed up for this course, so Warrior couldn't go.  The next few days were very difficult because whenever Warrior saw Fred at school Fred made a point of yelling at Warrior because he wouldn't go with him for the weekend.

Well Fred, finds out that Warrior is going over to so and so's house, and he comes running up to tell me that him and Warrior had plans and Warrior is ignoring them.  He only seems to do this with a certain few friends.

Then when ever Fred and Warrior do hang out, Fred spends the entire time trying to tell Warrior why he shouldn't be friends with so and so.  By the time I pick Warrior off, he's so upset he can't even see straight.

I feel bad because Warrior is really Fred's only friend, but Warrior is about fed up with him.  Warrior has tried to talk to his friend about the way he acts, and it doesn't ever seem to sink in.   I've tried talking to the parents and they don't want to hear it.

We're trying to keep the peace because not only are these people my husband's bosses, but they are also our landlords.  We've talked to my mother in law about coming up to watch the kids while my husband has the transplant, but I still feel we need to keep the peace.

I just don't know how that's going to happen when Warrior finally has it and ends the friendship with Fred altogether.

Tuesday, October 25, 2011

Finally a Great Girl Scout Troop!

When I was younger I was in Girl Scouts.  I was in from 1st grade until my sophomore year of high school.  The only reason I stopped was because we moved and couldn't find a troop for my age group.

When Sugar Pea was in kindergarten we looked into a troop for her, but I wasn't impressed by the leader.  After we moved I started looking for a troop for her.  She joined when she was in 2nd grade and was so excited.  I told her all the things I did as a Girl Scout, and she couldn't wait.

The first year she was in I wasn't really all that impressed.  The leader had 24 girls ranging from Daisy's to Juniors.  They did a couple of "fieldtrips" to the stores to buy food for the soup kitchen and toys to take to the fire station.  That was it.  Their weekly meetings were spend coloring and gluing things to cardboard.  I kid you not.  They did have a Father Daughter dance and Mother's Day Tea for the mom's and girls, but other than that, nothing.

At the end of that year few us parents talked to the leader and explained what we were looking to get out of Girl Scouts.  The next year the leader had a meeting for the parents before the year started.  Pretty much she wanted to tell us that we weren't allowed to stay during the meetings and help.  Her sister was stepping up to help as co leader.  I didn't like this.  I didn't stay every week, but I liked being able to go in and help if she needed it and see what the girls were doing.

That year they didn't do anything.  One fieldtrip to the store, and nothing else.  It got to the point I had to force Sugar Peas to go.  She complained that it was boring, but I liked that she was able to interact with kids that weren't in her class.

A group of us parents again tried to talk to the leaders and explain our concern.  All this did as cause them to send home a nasty letter about how she's been a Girl Scout leader for 20 some odd years and she knows what she's doing and if we think its better than we should start our own group.

So that's what happened.  Two of the mom's started their own group.  Needless to say I switched Sugar Pea to this one and so far I love it.  There is a total of 3 leaders.  They've already had one backyard camp out with the girls.  They learned about fire safety from real fire fighters.  Then at the first official meeting the leaders sat down with the girls and asked what they wanted to do. They had a list of things that they wanted to do for others and things for themselves.  The leaders explained that the list of things they wanted to do for themselves had to be earned and not just given to them.

This week they are doing a canned food drive and then next week they are going to take the food to the soup kitchen and take a tour of it and learn what they do there. 

They are also planning a bake sale to help raise money for my husband's medical expenses.

This is what I wanted for Sugar Pea all along.  I wanted her to be part of something that helps the community and not just mom making her do it.  I want her to be able to tell her own daughter the same stories about her experiences in Girl Scouts.

Monday, October 24, 2011

Mom's Wishlist

It seems like there is always something we want, but when money gets tight that list seems to grow and grow.


Right now our main focus has been on my husband and things he will need during his recovery and ways for him to keep in contact with the outside world.  Since our families are spread out throughout the country, his main contact with most of them will be the computer or by phone, and since cell phones aren't allowed in the transplant unit, mainly by the computer.  The only thing on his wish list is an iPad.  He has his laptop, but he'd like an iPad because he can use it while he's laying down.

So my wish list has been put on hold, yet again.  That seems to be the norm.  Either the kids need something or want something so I jump to get it for them, and put mine list away.

One day, maybe when our lives finally get back to normal, I'll be able to treat myself.  Until then, I can still hope and want.

What's on your wishlist?
I have a lot more, like books, clothes, movies, but these are 5 of my big (expensive) wants.

Canon EOS Rebel T2i Digital SLR Camera Bundle


This will be my first buy.  Actually this may be what we get when we get our taxes back in March.  My camera is on its last leg.  Most of the time anymore it doesn't want to focus and I find myself not even bothering with it anymore.  I use my phone for right now, but they aren't the greatest pictures.




HTC Amaze 4G Android Phone, White (T-Mobile)

My 2nd want is a new phone.  Mine recently died and I settled for a cheaper phone rather than one I really wanted.  I soon found out that I had made a mistake.  It came loaded with a ton of apps on it and I can't remove any of them.  It doesn't have a lot of memory, so all the apps are downloaded onto the SD card.  So I had to decide what I wanted to keep and what I wanted to give up because more than 3 apps and the phone started to freeze up.



Cricut Expression 290300 Personal Electronic Cutter

I don't really have a reason why I MUST have this, but it's something I've wanted for a while now.  I do a lot of arts and crafts with the kids at home, but also with my daughter's class at school.  Not to mention her Girl Scout troop.  This would be something useful for all 3.




KitchenAid Artisan Design 5-Quart Stand Mixer, Raspberry Ice
Yes in pink.  I have always wanted one of these.  I love baking and love baking with my kids even more.







Cuisinart Stainless Steel 12-Piece Cookware Set

I love to cook, especially trying out new recipes.  I'd love love love a new set of pots and pans.

Sunday, October 23, 2011

Fundraising Fun

The last year we've had to swallow our pride and admit that we need financial help. 2 1/2 years ago we were fine. Then my husband got sick and we had tons of medical bills thrown at us. We've always had insurance, and up until then we never thought twice about what they would or wouldn't cover.

That all changed in July 2009. He got sick and we ended up finding out just how good or bad our insurance really is.

$136,000. That's how much we owe the hospital so far. $128,000 of that is from March 1 - March 8 2010. March 1st he went and had his teeth extracted. (his cardiologists and dentist decided that it was the best thing to do because of bacteria after he has the transplant.) That simple surgery had to be done at the hospital in case he had complications. That simple surgery landed him in the hospital for a week and almost on a ventilator. He handled the surgery no problem, but waking him from the anesthetic caused his heart to freak out.

So now, 18 months later we are still fighting with the insurance company to pay that. They are refusing to pay it because they claim its something that should have been done in a dentist office. So we continue to fight because I don't have that much money lying around.

Plus all of the post transplant medical expenses we will have.

So we had to swallow our pride and admit to ourselves and everyone else that we need help.

This is where the fundraising comes in. We've had several fundraisers between Dining for Dollars at different restaurants and the quilt that Warrior's class made and raffled off.

We have 2 Dining for Dollar fundraisers coming up in the next 2 weeks and several others in the works.

The worst part about this is trying to get people to return phone calls. One of the upcoming fundraisers is at IHOP. We called and had friends calling and the manager never returned phone calls We did this for 2 months. Finally we posted something on IHOP's Facebook page and within a week we had it all set up.

We've also had friends tell us that they want to help, or know this person or that person but then never follow through on anything. Then we've had one person rip us off. $3,000 that he made selling car magnets and took off with. Needless to say that made us rethink a lot of things.

I've been left with having to set most of the things up, but between taking care of my husband, his doctors appointments, the kids and school and their activities, its become a strain on me. Plus we've only lived in this area for 3 years so I'm having to track down the info on who I should call for what. That takes a lot of time and energy. Something of which I am running very low on.

I'll be glad when life returns to normal, whatever that is.

Saturday, October 22, 2011

Flower Cards

A friend of ours fell and fractured one of her ribs and having a hard time.  Sugar Pea decided she wanted to make a "Get Well" card.  At first she was going to draw it, but was having a hard time drawing anything she liked.

I suggested making a flower card using some of the pressed flowers we have.

SO we sat down and decided what flowers and leaves she wanted to use.  She laid them out to get an idea of what she wanted it to look like and then began gluing them onto the paper.

After the glue was dry I covered the front of the card with contact paper to help protect the flowers.

After seeing what Sugar Pea's card looked like, Warrior decided he wanted to do one too. 

Wednesday, October 19, 2011

The worst timing

Today I met with the Donate Life Liaison for my area so he could introduce me to some of the local health clinics in the area.  Pretty much every 3 or 4 months I will go in and make sure they are stocked on brochures, posters, and anything else they needs.  Also answer any questions they might have.

We were supposed to visit 3 clinics today, but in between the 2nd and 3rd one my car wouldn't start.  I swear it has a mind of its own and knew just when would be the worst time for it to break down.

Looking online its going to be $150 just for the part to fix it.  Now we get to figure out where that money is going to come from. 

We have great friends that will pick the kids up and take them to school and bring them home after.  Our biggest issue is we need a car because my husband could get his call at any time and its over an hour drive to the hospital. 

Hopefully him and his friend can get it fixed tonight.

Wordless Wednesday # 1

He decided he wanted his picture taken too.

Tuesday, October 18, 2011

Class Bully

We've been dealing with a bully problem in my daughter's class for the last 2 years.

In 2nd grade the girl tried to cut my daughter's ponytail off.  Plus there was the name calling, and the you can't play with us.

In 3rd grade it got bad.  She threw water on my daughter and then told everyone she wet her pants.  Then her and 2 of her friends made up a song to sing to her.  Then she started threatening my daughter.  Told her that if she told anyone what was going on that she was going to come to school sick and cough in Sugar Pea's face so that she would go home and make her daddy sick, then he would die.  So as an 8 year old, this scared her, so she stopped telling me what was going on.  I would find out a little bit here and there from her friends or other parents in the class.

The 3rd grade teacher was really good about handling the situation at first, until the parents came in and started screaming at her.  Then she got a little scared of them, and stopped handling things the way they should have been.

At the end of the school year the class had a play.  They were doing a dress rehearsal at school and had to go into the bathroom to change.  When my daughter went into the bathroom stall to change, this little monster started screaming at her to hurry up.  Then started throwing things at her because she was taking to long.  3 open stalls, but she wanted the one Sugar Pea was in.  One of the other girls in the bathroom didn't like this and went and got the principal.  She took the kids in and talked to them and explained to them that what they were doing was bullying and that it wasn't going to be tolerated at the school.  The bully's 2 friends realized then that they needed to stop.  Unfortunately the bully didn't seem to care.

I found out about this situation from the parent of the girl that went to get the principal.  I talked to the principal to find out what happened and she explained the situation and apologized for not telling me what was going on, that she thought the teacher was going to talk to me about it.

The last day of school I sat down with the teacher, the principal, and the girl's mother to try to get things sorted out.  That didn't work to well.  She told me I was being to sensitive and that's just how her daughter is.  Then she went on to say that she's uncomfortable at the school because my husband's sick and he went into the class and talked to the kids and she doesn't want him infecting her kids.  OMG!  This pissed me, and both the teacher and principal off.  My husband and I went into the class to talk to the kids about what's going on with him.  Explained to them that he was born with a broken heart and now because his heart is to tired, he needs a new one.  We explained to them that he's sick but its not something he could spread from person to person.  This showed me just how ignorant the woman really is and opened my eyes to why her child is the way she is. 

Over the summer I talked to the 4th grade teacher about the problems, and he assured me that he would put a stop to it.

This little monster started in the 1st week of school.  She didn't like Sugar Pea's new glasses.  Told her that only ugly kids would wear those glasses, and that if it were her she would never come back to school if she had to wear them.

She would throw things at Sugar Pea, put gum in her hair, twice, and she's back to the "death" threat against her dad.

I talked to the teacher probably 4 times in the first 2 weeks of school.  The only difference this year is the little monster has turned on half the class.  She grabbed a hand full of compostable food (from the garbage area) and smashed it in one kids face and put it in another girl's hair.

We are in the 8th week of school and she's already had 3 Friday detentions, and has another one this Friday.  The teacher has tried to talk to the parents once already and they blame it all on me.  Saying that me and Sugar Pea are to sensitive and we need to realize that's just how the little monster is.

The teacher this year seems on it, and I'm hoping the  parents either realize that there is a problem, or get tired of the teachers "picking" on their child and leave the school.

Monday, October 17, 2011

Sunset

Tonight's sunset

Starting Over

This blog started out as a spin off from the Long Road Ahead.   I needed some place I could put down my thoughts about being a mom, wife, and caregiver to my husband.  I have found that blogging is a way to help calm my nerves, but I didn't want to take over the other blog with my ramblings. 



A little about me.
  • I'm in my 30s
  • Married to my husband for 14 years
  • have 2 kids, but sometimes it feels like 10
  • I had 2 csections and have an amazing bond with my kids, I dare someone to tell me otherwise.
  • I was diagnosed with Lupus in 2008 
  • I hate stupid people and have a hard time keeping opinions to myself
  • I grew up in Illinois until I was 16, don't miss the cold, or the summers
  • lived in Vegas for 4 years, and miss it
  • lived in Oregon for 2 years and couldn't stand the rain
  • now live somewhere in California, its not as glamorous as tv makes it out to be, but its home



Tin Man was born with a congenital heart defect (CHD) called Transposition of the Great Arteries (TGA).  He was listed for a heart transplant on December 3, 2010 and received his new heart on March 6, 2012 after waiting 15 months and 3 days.lHe passed away on April 10, 2012 from complications.  You can read more about Tin Man's heart over here.

I'm mom to 2 kids.
  • Warrior is 13.  He's my way to smart for his own good, and my sanity, child.  He's decided he wants to be a surgeon.  After seeing everything his dad went through, he wants to help people the same way the doctors and surgeons helped our family.  
  • Sugar Peas is 9.  She's my fashion diva, my girly tomboy, and my future monster truck driver and vampire.  She was diagnosed with an auditory processing disorder in 2008 and with a visual processing disorder in May 2012.  We're glad that we finally know what's going on and are learning how to deal with it.  
They are awesome kids.  They're the only things that have held me together since Tin Man's death.



I love
  • photography, I got my new camera just before Tin Man got his heart transplant and still learning how to use it.  Much different than my Olympus.  
  • reading.  I've always been a reader, but lately, with all the hospital visits, and not being able to sleep, I've started reading a lot more.  I'm always open to suggestions on what I should read.
  • historical places.  I hated history when I was younger because I hated reading about it.  I want to learn about it first hand.  I want to see the actual places and not just pictures in a book.
  • anything crafty.  I'm a sucker for crafts and love home made gifts.
  • Donate Life.  In August 2011 Tin Man, Warrior, Sugar Pea, and I became Donate Life Ambassadors.  We decided as a family we wanted to learn how to educate people about the importance and need for organ donation.  

Saturday, October 1, 2011

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